The Marital Arts Tournament!
by The0Blind0Writer
Summary: Hercules is holding a Marital Arts Tournament! Gohan doesn't want to participate but when he finds out that Roshi is set on winning, he has no choice...


A/N: Well, well, well. I oughtta be ashamed of myself, abandoning my audience like that. Oh well. I've gotten writer's block on my other two fics (rather I got busy and completely forgot the plot I had planned out), so I'm going to work on this three-shot piece here. Hopefully, I can integrate my new writing style into fanfiction and restart my career as a writer.

Son household

"Mom, can I compete in the tournament?"

"No way mister. You've been out all day and haven't got a bit of studying done."

"Aww, but Icarus was calling!"

"Don't you `Icarus was calling` me young man! You're going upstairs and finishing that workbook I got you for Christmas!"

"But-"

Chi-Chi raised a stainless steel frying pan. "Yes?" she asked, deceptively calm after her loud demand from earlier.

The youngest of the Son family was last seen running upstairs to his room, reading through algebra equations.

Next, Chi-Chi turned her glare on the TV, wondering what tournament would possibly be advertised at this time of year. Chi-Chi froze at the horrific sight before her. Her hand trembling, she turned up the volume of the TV.

"HAHAHA! THAT'S RIGHT! THIS YEAR, I'M HOLDING THE MARITAL ARTS TOURNAMENT! IT'LL BE A FIVE-ROUND TOURNAMENT WHERE ALL YOU CHUMPS CAN BATTLE IT OUT TO SEE WHO'S LOVE FOR MY SWEET PEA IS STRONGEST! WHOEVER WINS GETS MY DAUGHTER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE!"

It's at this point that Hercule's face is punched in, sparks shooting out of the destroyed television.

"I'm home!" announced a cheerful voice.

"GOHAN! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GRANDBABIES!" cried a hysterical Chi-Chi.

"Huh?" asked a confused Gohan. Stars flashed in Gohan's vision as the Frying Pan of Doom came crashing down on poor Gohan's head. To top it all off, an excited Goten, his workbook forgotten, came summersaulting from the staircase to land squarely on Gohan's stomach.

"Gohan, you're home!" shouted Goten, "can we play? Please please please-"

"Goten! What did I tell you earlier?" screamed Chi-Chi.

"Bye brother!" And with that, Goten vanished in a puff of wind.

"Gohan, you're entering that tournament no matter what!" ordered Chi-Chi.

"What tournament?" Gohan queried.

"The Satan Marital Arts tournament," replied Chi-Chi, "for the sake of my grandchildren, you will DESTROY all the other contestants."

"But mom, I don't want to get married! Or show the world my powe-"

"Forget that!" snapped a frustrated Chi-Chi, "there are many other high schools you can go to. But first, YOU'RE GOING TO WIN THAT TOURNAMENT AND MARRY SATAN VIDEL!"

"But-"

From that point onward, it was a monologue delivered by our favorite kitchen utensil.

Meanwhile

Somewhere far away from the cheery sunlight and atmosphere of the Son household, a dark and foreboding presence was made known to the world. With quiet stealth, a man made his way through the darkness, approaching an unsuspecting couple. The man's target was only seconds away. Not able to wait any longer, the man leaped forward, letting out a cry of "COME TO PAPA" before he was sent flying in the other direction, courtesy of a certain blond beauty.

"Shut up you disgusting perv," was all that 18 had to say.

Krillin sighed, exasperated with his master's antics. It had been a full hour and the girl just wasn't talking. Maybe this date was a bad idea after all-

Krillin felt warm lips forced onto his. Shocked eyes widened to see the girl of his dreams, making out with him. After about five seconds, the android pulled back, annoyed at the human's lack of a reaction. Looking down and realizing that her date had been subjected to immense shock, she smirked and said, "Shut up and kiss me already."

Roshi had been sent flying out of his house, courtesy of one 18, and had, unceremoniously, landed in the women's side of a hot spring resort. Dazed, Roshi's body received further physical harm via the angry inhabitants of said hot spring, leaving the turtle hermit to rot in the middle of a dark alleyway. Roshi finally came to when he felt a raven pecking at his nearly destroyed body. Indignant, the former champion of martial arts slapped the raven, sending it down the alleyway, the raven crying "Nevermore!"

Groggy and bruising all over, Master Roshi left the alleyway to try and find his way home. However, his eyes spotted something most wonderous out of the corner of his eye. Could it be? Roshi rushed over to confirm that it was. It had been so many years since the last time. YES! YES! IT WAS TRUE! THERE WAS A NEW MARITAL ARTS TOURNAMENT!

And this time, NOBODY COULD STOP HIM! HEHAHAHAHA! Except maybe the z-fighters, but they were all happily married or engaged to an android. YES! He ... will ... WIN!

A/N: Oh no! Roshi turned evil! Can Gohan save the world from the legendary turtle-ah, who am I kidding? Review and ask questions if you have any. Also, if you want, check out my other fics and tell me which I should finish first. I'm also debating whether or not to revise either one or both of my other fics. Please, give me suggestions on what to do. T0B0W, OVER AND OUT


End file.
